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MAN OF DREAMS

Posted by Remo on 24th September 2007

MAN OF DREAMS

 

“”Helen was in her late thirties and still not married. She just had a hard time meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper.

Helen wrote: “Looking for a man who wont beat me, wont leave me, and is excellent in bed.” ..

Several days went by and she hadnt gotten a single call. Then, one day she was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs.

“Can I help you?” Helen asked.

He said, “I am the man of your dreams!”

Helen was baffled. She said, “Excuse me.”

“I read your personal ad in the paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I cant beat you. I have no legs so I can never leave you.”

“But are you good in bed?” Helen asked.

He replied, “How do you think I knocked on the door?!”"

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Wine vs Water

Posted by Remo on 24th September 2007

…….
Wine vs Water

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, wine = Health

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service.

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